#5 Swing

Magic players love swing.

They love swing because swinging in a game of Magic means they are turning their creatures sideways (tapping) and attacking the other player.

Swing, to the rest of the world, is a form of upbeat dancing that primarily goes with jazz music. This is not too far from how Magic players see and use the word swing.

Magic players love declaring their attacks with dramatic phrases like "Swing for 5." Swinging for 5 is quite impressive because players start the game with 20 life and 5 damage is a quarter of that gone, in a single step.

Coupled with this, the actual physical way most Magic players turn their creatures sideways to signal the attack is dramatic as their declaration. Some players pick up their creature cards and slap them back down sideways. Some players do a quick wrist flick so that the card rotates just right. There are tons of ways to "swing."

To the untrained eye, it looks like Magic players just have different quirks and habits when they handle their cards. However, closer examination reveals that players are executing fancy moves and complex steps when they send their creatures to battle.

Fancy moves and complex steps is actually just dancing, broken down. It is no wonder that dance contests are often called dance battles.



Some Magic players choose to use decks that have very little creatures to attack with, therefore have little opportunities to swing. This doesn't mean they don't love swing though, as the deck choice was probably a heavy weighed decision, just like how a shy person wallflowers and watches everyone else swing.

Swing brings some energy and life into how a creature card turns sideways, just like how dance brings energy and life into the mundane, everyday movements of legs and feet. Magic isn't supposed to be mundane and everyday, which is why Magic players love swing.

#4 Sleeves

Magic players love sleeves.

They love sleeves because sleeves protect their cards from the wear and tear of everyday play.

Sleeves are little pieces of cutup plastic that a card slips into. Once inside, the card knows very little fear to the outside world. This is cute because the card is just a piece of paper, and there is actually a lot to fear from the outside world.

At one time in Magic's early history, players didn't use sleeves.

That is why today, some of the oldest and most expensive cards look like they've been chewed on or possibly used to pick locks.

Sleeves are more than just protection though. Magic players use their sleeves to make statements. This makes sense, since sleeves from clothing also can make statements, ranging from "I am mourning the loss of a family member" to "I need to cover up this tattoo when I teach 2nd grade" to "my rank is higher than yours."



Magic players will spend hours thinking about the perfect sleeves that go with a deck. This is because when a game of Magic starts, the only thing that the other player can see are the sleeves. When a Magic player draws his first 7 cards and holds them up, the backs of the cards (the sleeves) are a great way to say something.

If the sleeves are red, it could be saying "I'm a red mage, I'm going to tap Mountains and burn your face. Cheers mate."

If the sleeves have a scantily clad anime chick with a huge rack, it could be saying "I like scantily clad anime chicks with huge racks, I hope you do too. So don't Duress me or I'll be holding up 6 of these ladies instead of 7, and we sorta both lose."

If the sleeves have Pikachu on them, it could be saying "I think I grabbed the wrong deck."

Because sleeves pull double duty, by potentially making bold statements and getting the best of a card's lifespan, Magic players heart their sleeves.

#3 Foils

Magic players love foils.

They love foils because foils are shiny, and human beings are attracted to shiny things, even if some things shouldn't be shiny in the first place.

It goes as far as if something was dangerous and hazardous to their health, but was shiny, they would still desire to reach out and grab onto it.

Foils are shiny cards that attract Magic players even more than the regular versions. Originally considered as "premium" versions, the number of foils that are printed is lower, meaning foils are rarer.

Making a whole deck into foils is quite an accomplishment. Some Magic players like the fact that acquiring all those foils is painful and takes commitment, because at least the pain sparkles and the commitment practically glows.

This is not a strange idea, as often in life, pain and commitment really do require sparkles and glow.



Even Magic players who say they hate foils really secretly, or even unknowingly love foils. This is because while they might not be interested in possessing a foil themselves, there are plenty of other players who would trade an arm and a leg for it. They love the cards and/or money they receive in exchange, therefore the foil was loved in theory.

Another aspect of foils that a Magic player might love is the fact that they are physically different. Foil layering makes the card slightly heavier and thicker, and is also subject to temperature.

It's not uncommon to see a whole foil deck sort of "curve" at the corners in a warped fashion. When a Magic player plays with those foils, it's almost like his whole deck is trying to jump off the table in a celebratory cheer.

Of shininess.

#2 Reprints

Magic players love reprints.

They love reprints because a reprint is basically a super comeback tour of some 80's hair band they used to love back in the day.

Just how much a Magic player loves a reprint is mainly dependent on three things, which are if it's a just a reprint, a functional reprint or a throwback.

If it's a reprint, but it has new artwork and/or text, then it usually gets love. Magic players will talk about art and text differences for days.

They can't stop, won't stop.




If it's a functional reprint (same card mechanics, different name/type/look) then it usually gets love based on the need to run #5-8 of that card. Also, Magic players sometimes love collecting certain cards, and a functional reprint is basically a cousin thrice removed, but a hot cousin.



Lastly, there's the throwback. A throwback is basically a small test to see if a Magic player has paid attention to cards for however long they have been playing.

While a throwback isn't really a reprint, it might just get the same love that the original got just because it's like it is wearing the same perfume that their ex did.


Because Magic players are human beings, they will probably always love reprints. Human beings love taking the old and familiar and bringing it back, just one more time, maybe with a twist.

#1 Schedules

Magic players love schedules.

They love schedules because schedules let them know when they are allowed to pull out little pieces of cardboard in public and kill other players with them.

If Magic players didn't adhere to schedules, bad things would probably happen.

If a Magic player was at a work meeting and decided to respond to his employer's question about a project by slapping a Mana Leak down on the desk, the question would not cost 3 more nor be countered.

And something bad would probably happen.

Schedules are that important and come in many forms.

Some Magic players stick to old school methods, which involves bigger pieces of cardboard and paper material that he's scribbled on to let him know when it's okay to break out the little pieces of cardboard. Calendars and pocket organizers are the most common.



Some Magic players choose a digital method, through their computers and smartphones. Taking this further, their digital schedule could then let them know when it's a good time to break out their digital versions of cardboard, via Magic Online or Magic Workstation, or some similar program.

This is not to say that digital scheduling only allows for digital play. It doesn't matter what form the schedule comes in, as long as it dictates when some form of Magic can be played.

The schedule could be some crude, hollowed out coconut shell, a broken sundial and some goat's blood. Magic players would find a way to use it so they never miss a FNM.

Because Magic players love schedules, hanna leak will follow a schedule, 2 posts a week, every Monday and Wednesday.

If it's ever a Monday or Wednesday, and there wasn't a new post, something bad probably happened.